911-911-9911
^_^ Press 1 to talk to an employer(aka Guyfawkes), Press 2 to talk to an emploe (aka Dadaibi), Press 3 to talk to yourself(Please leave a note to yourself after the beap), Press 4 to get kidnapped, Press 5 to get drugged, Press 6 to get shot, Press 7 to call your wife, Press 8 to call your husband, Press 9 to call BATMAN, Press * to call Kick Ass, Press # to go on Twitter.
To become a premium member, go on a building with height over 30 blocks, then jump down while screaming "I BElIEVE I CAN FLY". Now, if you are not yet dead, repeat the steps above. If you have completed all the steps above, please dial our contact number to confirm your premium membership(If you can).
Once you've ruled out the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable must be true.